This is the text copy of the devotion I presented in my Souls Week stream of Nioh 2 on Wednesday, October 30, 2024. You can watch/listen to the highlight on Twitch by clicking here.
My original plan for the Extra Life marathon this week was a joke. Not in the sense that it was going to be terrible, but that I found it amusing and felt others would, too. That plan? Make myself suffer through a Dark Souls game, dying repeatedly for the entertainment of viewers, letting them take joy in my frustrations and potentially donate pity dollars to Extra Life. People have always enjoyed the Souls games simply because they’re difficult, and it took me a long time to understand why that was good in their mind.
Welcome to Souls Week: my week-long marathon for Extra Life, but also a series of discussions about why starting again and persistently struggling isn’t as bad as it sounds. This is Day 4: The Struggle Within.
Everyone deals with inner thoughts that are deceitful and painful–even and especially Christians. The inner thoughts range across a broad spectrum, preying on our emotions and making everyday life that much more difficult. Some of these thoughts might sound familiar to you:
I’m so fat, I can’t stand to look at myself.
Nobody cares about me.
I’m a burden to others.
I’m unworthy of being loved.
I shouldn’t feel this way, there must be something wrong with me.
I have to do this by myself.
I always mess things up.
If I ask for help, it means I’m weak.
I have to be in charge and in control.
I need to be perfect to be accepted.
I’m smarter than everybody else; I don’t need advice.
I can’t forgive my past mistakes, so why would anyone else?
The list could go on, but the point I’m trying to make here is that our hearts and minds lie to us every day, all day. (Jeremiah 17:9 says, “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?”) Trying to rely on only what we think and feel gets us into a LOT of trouble. If we lived our lives this way we might satisfy our sense of instant gratification, but at what cost?
Psalm 13:2 says, “How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?”
If even King David, who is the credited author of this Psalm, dealt with this kind of struggle, it should not overwhelm us to know we do the same. In today’s game, Nioh 2, the main character is a half-demon based on the game’s extremely convoluted mythology. (In fact, the story itself has multiple versions of characters and wonky time travel and time loops… and I’m not going to attempt to discuss any of it!) The one facet of this character I do want to focus on is that he is out of place and perpetually struggling because of what he is. We are no different. We are humans living in a fallen world which is abundant in sin, and that sin is within us as well. Without even discussing the reality of demons and demonic influence, our bodies are weak and dying a little every day – and this is not how God originally intended it to be. However, because He wishes for our salvation and for us to have a closer relationship with Him, He gave us many things to help us contend with our sinful hearts and minds: the grace of salvation through Jesus, the helping guidance of the Holy Spirit, prayer, and every God-breathed word of scripture in the Bible.
If you find yourself facing a daily inner struggle, consider Proverbs 3:5 which says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”
God, thank you so much for every listener hearing my words today, whether they’re watching the stream or checking out the video at a later time. As we’ve discussed this week, we are mere creations of yours whom you created from the dust of the earth and breathed life into. We are susceptible to the sins in and around us in this fallen world and only have You to truly rely on and sustain us. I pray that you extend your comfort, wisdom, and strength to those who need it in their struggle. In your holy name I pray. Amen.
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