How long has it been since I sat down and reflected on the stories, music, and feelings evoked from playing a game?
The answer is 'Too long,' but I hope you didn't try to supply the answer on my behalf. The last substantial content I provided in this blog were the scripts I wrote for the in-stream devotions I tried my hand at writing for some streams in late 2024, when I launched the ambitious Souls Week event on my Twitch channel as a marathon for Extra Life. It put me well outside of my comfort zone and helped me see something I had been lacking in my content, general creativity, and daily life. That was when I began pruning where I spent my time online, who I spoke with, and how I interacted with the gaming community at large. It began a season of change for myself, and I'm here now to talk about it. What follows is a meandering journey through what I learned from that marathon week and how my decision to change affected more than just my charity work for over a year afterwards.
If you weren't following me in any capacity in 2024, or you simply chose to pass on my Souls-themed marathon, it was the biggest project I had created for myself to date--and yet also the most successful, in my opinion. Every day had at least one Souls-like game being streamed, which is absolutely not my genre of game. (Yet I somehow had more than enough to stream for a whole marathon, if that says anything about my game-collecting habits in the name of 'I might need this for the charity!') Why did I choose to torture myself in this way, you ask? Well, something I had tacitly begun behind the scenes earlier in the year was to be more mindful of the gaming communities and individuals I was giving my time and energy to. Without trying to disparage those I stepped away from, I had to let go of them for my own spiritual wellbeing. I was giving too much of myself to worldly distractions and not using my skills to glorify God. Feeling this conviction within me, I decided I would include a devotion as part of each stream in Souls Week--and my focus would be on my favorite faith topic, Sanctification:
Day 1: Seeking a Cure in a Fallen World (Hyper Light Drifter)
Day 2: Called According to His Purpose (Hollow Knight)
Day 3: Repent in Dust and Ashes (Remnant: From the Ashes)
Day 4: The Struggle Within (Nioh 2)
Day 5: Idolater’s Forfeit (Curse of the Dead Gods)
Day 6: Be Joyful in Hope (Tails of Glimmervale)
Day 7, Part 1: The Way of the Wicked (Dark Souls III)
Day 7, Part 2: The Light of the World (Elden Ring)
Not only did I exercise my gaming skills across a variety of stylized games, I had an assortment of random viewers drop in and chat during the streams. It was good to talk about the games and the themes, and there were several who encouraged me to continue with my charity work and integrating faith. I did manage a couple streams after the marathon with devotions, but it began to feel too much like using a shoehorn to include God--and that's not glorifying Him.
At about the same time I came to that conclusion, it was early 2025. I was only in a couple of Christian communities but not really interacting, and I felt like I was simply trying to tread water in a vast ocean, not knowing what was below the surface or which direction I should try to swim in--or if it would be better to conserve my energy and wait for something to come my way. I think we've all been there before, but perhaps the better analogy for more people would be a crossroads. For me, the possibility of drowning felt all too real.
I stepped back. I decided my cup was empty and needed filling. I focused on reading assigned books for the biblical counseling course I had signed up for (which I did not finish, but it helped me grow). I discovered more of my faith-based interests and began giving more of myself into the women's discipleship class I teach at our church on Sunday evenings, guiding them through several Old Testament books. I found myself ministering to individuals from unlikely corners as they came to me for spiritual advice. I felt wildly unprepared and there is an incredible pressure that comes with the responsibility of guiding someone's faith. You might think I'm perfectly equipped for that, being a pastor's wife. But here's the secret: there's no prep course prior to becoming a pastor's wife, and very little support when you're in the thick of the ministry. You can only rely on God and try to support your spouse. I had to lean into that as 2025 progressed.
In a rare coincidence, a game I had been looking forward to for over a year released on my birthday at the end of February: Monster Hunter Wilds. I wish I could tell you I installed it and had a very merry time of it. Unfortunately, my PC was not quite up to the task and I needed to install an NvME -- the game required it to run right, in fact. In the process of installing it, clumsy me broke a tiny, important piece off my motherboard. So then I had to install the new motherboard and essentially rebuild my computer. Was it worth the wait? Absolutely. Wilds was a blast to play and remains in my regular rotation as I now wait for news of the expansion.
It would take a few more months for me to realize that streaming for Extra Life just wasn't in God's plans for me in 2025. But apparently a highly productive cucumber plant was and I ended up with several jars' worth of pickles... and many more cucumbers that were simply tossed out to the tree line for the deer and rabbits to enjoy. I didn't get to plant as much in my garden as I had planned to, but that only helped me learn how to be flexible and adapt to His plans.
As is customary in my marriage, we go through cycles of gaming together and gaming separately. We enjoy gaming with each other since we met in an MMO, but we have different preferences in gaming. This ebb and flow means our gaming moods don't always align, but I do my best to keep up with my husband. As a result, we attempted to play some games together in Tabletop Simulator, we re-attempted questing in World of Warcraft, and he finally convinced me to try Final Fantasy XIV. And while I have let those subscriptions expire for the time being, I am wanting to return to Eorzea soon. I still have several expansions' worth of story to tackle and there's a lovely and casual Free Company that I call home.
It was about this time in the height of summer when we were coming back home from our ministry at the prison (a weekly ministry a lovely couple at our church started to assist in their worship service and help the inmates find guidance)... when a blessing was bestowed upon me. If you've known me for any length of time, you probably know that I have been driving my grandfather's truck since I got my driver's license in 2006. It's a 1992 GMC Sierra, and I have always loved it. It's not without its problems given its age, but with only 110,000 miles on it I'm not about to give it up. Unfortunately, one of the issues in recent years has been the front panel giving out -- which means I don't have working air, hot or cold. As hot as it gets in Mississippi, several people had become concerned for me last summer. What I did not expect was the response to the perceived need I hadn't voiced. Friends, someone very kind left me a whole car. An older Altima with 230,000 miles on it, but with blessedly cold air conditioning and in otherwise fantastic shape. I have been driving it ever since but plan to get the truck repaired when I can afford to.
As you might imagine, that act of kindness reminded me of my decision and ongoing choices. I began trying to give back to the right people and places. There are a few Christian content creators I do my best to support, and they have wonderful communities--I only regret I don't get to interact more than I do. It was about this time that we finally began getting some more definitive answers on my husband's health he'd been getting tests done for nearly a year. All glory to God, the results were not as bad as we feared, but he is still facing hurdles for treatments and consistent support.
I had definitely given up any notion of success with Extra Life 2025 at this point, which left me feeling a bit sad since the theme I had set up was all about books. It may be recycled in the future, so I hope nobody complains! I did a fair amount of reflection in December. I bought Christmas cards but did not send them. I am so detached from the people I used to call friends and family, I couldn't bring myself to put pen to paper. If it isn't genuine, I don't want to fake it. Life is short enough without filling it with insincerity. As many cards as I have sent over the years, there's a very small number that are sent my way. I reflected on these relationships and turned it over to God in my heart, knowing the cards will be sent this upcoming Christmas and I will have the gospel in my heart to write about the love of the season to both those who matter most and those who need the Word most.
It's here that I want to list some games I dabbled in during 2025 so you don't think this is just a weird diary entry. It is absolutely still about games and the charity I play for! But you cannot separate life and experiences from games.
- Jigsaw Puzzles Infinite -- This is a free game on Steam. There are a variety of included puzzle images, and you can also upload your own images to put together. If you like puzzles, this is worth your time.
- Neverwinter -- This is the MMO. I have played it off and on over the years. I return when I see content that might redeem it, and it never does. It will never be what it once was during the Tyranny of Dragons.
- Monster Hunter Wilds -- Over a year later, and I'm still making sure I log in enough to collect materials and festival currency to progress and get ready for further hunts. This installment in the series taught me how to diversify my weapon arsenal, as well as teach me more about my equipment builds. Anyone who tries to tell me that Monster Hunter is just about killing monsters has no idea what the real depth of the games are. (It's not the story, unfortunately. The story is just seasoning. That's why they had to make a whole Stories series instead.) I'm a Switch Axe main, Long Sword/Bow secondary, dabbling in Insect Glaive and Dual Blades. Wanna go hunting sometime?
- Chillquarium -- Do you like fish? Do you like collecting pretty fish in all manner of colors and rarities? This is a gotta-have-them-all kind of game where you build up a collection of fish tanks. It's cute, and I'm looking forward to their next game with birds.
- Books Upon Books -- Avoid this one if at all possible. It is very broken and unplayable. I thought it would be nice and cozy, letting me manage my own book store. Unfortunately, it was not cleanly developed. The developer responded to my review, but I have not had the time to revisit and test the bugs.
- Anagrams -- This was not quite what I hoped it would be, but still sufficed as a tough puzzle game.
- Wuthering Waves -- Whatever I thought this might be, it fell short. I was hoping for something less gimmicky in playstyle than this. If you enjoy games like Genshin Impact, this will feel unfinished to you.
- Unlock The King -- Another little puzzle game involving chess pieces.
- Cats Love Boxes -- A puzzle game... with cats. From the folks who make all the awesome hidden cat games like A Castle Full of Cats.
- Palia -- Yes, I tried this one alongside my husband sometime during the summer. Way too much of a grind for so little in return. It never felt like I was progressing and it just ended up feeling tedious. The game had a recent update that introduced mounts. Normally I'd be jumping right back in, but they really dropped the ball there and didn't have artists familiar with horse anatomy do any of the work. (I know you've seen some of the anime with that exact problem, using CGI rendered horses in the middle of hand-drawn anime characters!) Just not enough of a draw for me to cope with horses whose eyes look forward.
- Warframe -- You can have the Tenno role in my Discord, so of course I dabble in Warframe as well. I have a couple different frames and I still have every intention of tackling the Duviri content... once I get "We All Lift Together" out of my head.
- V Rising -- If you guessed this was another of my husband's choices, you'd be right. It wasn't bad, but it was tougher than I expected. I do plan to play more in the future! I dream of an elaborate castle to call my own!
- Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 -- I had this wishlisted in early 2025 before there was any hype about it. My husband played it, loved it, and insisting on buying it for me as well. I haven't gotten that far just yet, but one can only handle so much crying in one game session, right? I'll get through it eventually. Send tissues. I'll give you my PO Box address.
- No Man's Sky -- Yeah, I tried this one to play with my husband, too. I'm terrible at it, but it's a beautiful game... when you're not struggling to stay alive. I haven't revisited it since they added the creature combat update.
- Fantasy Life i: The Girl Who Steals Time -- I held off on this game for a long while because I wasn't able to get a physical copy for the Switch. I had the first title on my 3DS, you see. But I let my husband buy it for me on PC and it's been enjoyable. Some of the changes from the first one have been nice quality of life upgrades, others seem like a nuisance. I still have so much to unlock and do!
2026 gave me the opportunity to realign my content creation plans. I chose D&D for my Extra Life theme, knowing it would give me a broad range of games to stream over the course of the year and is a tag that often pulls random folks to a stream. It also allows us to create something together as a community, encouraging growth and interaction. Having already accomplished 20% of the overall goal and unlocked a good bit of of the community rewards, I am hopeful that this year will more than make up for last year.
So where does that leave me with the faith content? I haven't quite figured that out yet, but I'll know it when I see it. I want to be my genuine self in my streams, and be transparent about my Extra Life campaign at every turn. I hope to deliver more blog content this year, but not shallow fluff. I hope to nurture the small spark of a community I have. I hope it can grow. I want to inspire other believers to be decisive about what they invest their time and energy in. I want to help others understand what it means to glorify God.
And what does this have to do with gaming? Don't you know that God is the greatest storyteller of all? He gave us the one love story we can never improve upon or forget. God is in everything we experience in this life, and His creation is what inspires us to tell stories, make art, develop games for others to enjoy, write music, and imitate Him by creating our own worlds. It's the song of the boss battle, the heart-wrenching death of a beloved NPC that always supported your character, it's the horizon as the sun rises in the open world you're exploring, it's the friends we make as we spend time in fellowship. While there are many ways people can make gaming a distraction or downright sinful, there are more ways in which it can be a tool to reach others--those who know Him, those who think they don't need Him, and those who have never heard that He loves them. This has been a very long season of growth and change for me, but the strengthening and affirmation of my faith has been worth every ounce of struggle I have faced. I thank everyone who's prayed for me along the way.
If you have read this far, wondering if I was going to mention Finding Forrester or if you simply scrolled to see if there was a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, thank you. If you would like to be part of my efforts to foster a small, creative/gaming community to glorify God and support charity, I hope you'll make your way to my Discord. I'd love to get to know you and tell you how much and how many ways God loves you.
You can also tell me your favorite Pokemon starter, or join me in any of my rotation games listed below--just ask for server/character info!
- The Lord of the Rings Online
- RIFT
- Monster Hunter Wilds
- Monster Hunter: World
- Baldur's Gate 3
- Final Fantasy XIV Online
💜 snarkqueen
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